2009 in review

Reflecting on 2009 it was a year of Fun, Inspiration and of great pain. I guess every year has its share of that in varying degrees. I must say I learned a lot about myself in 09 and even more about human nature.

I am a product of my environment. I grew up watching certain behaviors and thinking them normal and thus repeat them. Although some of the more destructive ones I had managed to break the cycle along time ago I find that some of the more subtle ones I have continued to cling to till this year. I love how patient God is with us in our dysfunction. He just waits and directs and nudges us in the right direction till we give up the reigns and finally let him lead. I am glad I am not God because I would be so frustrated with my people if I were and their lack of faith and direction.

Some of the more wonderful things about this year were the opportunity to go to Peru with my oldest daughter and see the mighty potential in her. She can not see it of course but I see a young woman of compassion in her and of daring and I know the Lord will use that mightily if she lets him.

I got to see my youngest daughter blossom into you beautiful teen and find her talent and how special she is. I see a wonderful grateful spirit in her that warms my heart and I can tell the lessons about life and God are penetrating her soul. I see an eagerness to be a child of God in her. I know I have one more chance to raise a Godly woman and I pray daily that I succeed.

This year I have realized what it means to take a risk and put my foot down. Satan hates that and has tried to rip and tear at me. But I have stood my ground and will continue to do so no matter what. The end result will be something of beauty the Lord has promised. Though the path is very very hard. I will persevere.

I have made new friends this year and have finally opened myself up to people at church. It was scary after being burned so many times but they seem to have accepted me and for that I’m grateful. I think it may take me a while to relax and truly be myself but I have committed to try if they will continue to let me in.

I have lost a couple of dear friends this year too. Both of which I loved beyond measure. Sometimes people just walk way I guess. I struggle with that a lot because of my lack of feeling worthy. But I realize that being my friend is not always easy because I’m such a high challenge person. I shall miss them both.

So I guess I am looking forward to 2010 and all the possibilities it brings. New growth, new life and the same ole race to finish with Dignity and Honor into the open arms of my Saviour.

Happy New Years everyone.