When you Lose.

Everyone loses things. Sometimes it's keys sometimes it's love. You can't get through life without losing something. I have lost my share of keys and love and I can say that neither are fun and they both cause problems but in different ways.

In 1997 I found myself pregnant and looking for a new church. The church we had just left I had been the (volunteer) music minister of for about a year give or take a few months. It was a very small church and it had been struggling for awhile. It closed it's doors and so my family was looking for a new church. I found what I was looking for after a few months of looking. A place I could serve where the people were friendly the minister was a good speaker and the music was great.

The family seemed to like it and soon I found my self sitting on the stage on the worship team very very pregnant next to another lovely pregnant woman. We grew wide together it was like a race. She was due in Jan I was due in December. We ended up having our baby girls one day apart. Hers December 16th one month early and I was induced with Aspyn December 17th. I feel as though I have a special bond with my prego buddy and I can't hardly beleive our daughters are 12. That was the beginning of the story.

I attended this church for 6 years. Longer than I had any other church in my adulthood. I had some very good friend there but when the Lord says go you go no matter what it cost you.

One of the things I have tried to work on over the years is obediance. Obediance to God is very hard sometimes and can be very painful. But is necessary in your spiritual walk.

I served on this churches worship team for the entire time. I was in essence the lead female since I didn't know harmony I sang melody with the worship leader (Lets call him Carl). He was a very nice and talented married man that had been there for years. I saw singers come and go. Some were very good and some were not so great but they improved over time.

The trouble started about year five I guess. A beautiful woman ( we will call her Lisa) and her husband joined our church and started playing and singing on the worship team. Lisa was a free spirit. She always reminded me of a modern hippy for Jesus. She started singing with a trio a friend and I had put together. I liked her alot and we got to know each other pretty well. She had started hanging out with the music minister Carl and writing music. She was very talented. One day at a trio rehearsal she started telling us about how much she wished her husband could be more like Carl. How her husband just wasn't as spiritual as she would like him. We became very concerned that she had a major crush on Carl and that wasn't good for anyone involved. So we decided to pray about it. You really have to be on your toes in ministery and since I had some experience in this area I felt compelled to talk to the music minister about this. I approached him and tried to approach the subject very gently. We had notice that Lisa always hung out after worship when everyone else went home. It didn't look good and we thought she had a bit of a crush on him. Maybe he should keep an eye on things... He said he would and that was that. Except that wasn't that... Things kept progressing and more people on the worship team started noticing things between Carl and Lisa. So as the bible says we went to Carl as a group. There was four of us that made an appointment with him. One of us unfortunately decided to talk to him on her own before we met with him and he decided to cover his tracks before our meeting. He went to the pastor and told him that I was stirring up trouble and I was jelous of Lisa. Then Carl ask his wife to come to our meeting I think in hopes to show her he had nothing to hide. The meeting was a disaster of sorts. Carl denighed any inappropriate behavior and I was called by the pastor and told that I was wrong and causeing trouble. I was crushed and confused. So I got on my knees.

You see I have always been very bold and try very hard to do the right thing even when it's hard. I ask the Lord what he wanted me to do and he told me to leave. Leave a church I loved because the truth would not be seen while I was there. The focus had been shifted successfully by Carl from himself to me. So I had to go. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

I left once again in search of a new church. After I was gone the affair that happened between Carl and Lisa continued for a few more months. Then one day the light came on and everyone saw it. Lisa and her husband were made to leave the church and Lisa was told to break all contact with Carl. Carl was made to go to counceling and his wife chose to stay and work it out. I received a phone call one day from Lisa's husband at my work. He had been told by my trio buddy what I had done and he wanted to thank me for my sacrifice. Carls wife thanked me the next time she saw me too. It felt good to know my sacrafice was not in vain. But the pain of having to walk away yet again from a church family I loved had made a very deep mark of loss on my spirit.

It has taken me a while now to make friends at my new church because I was afraid I guess of having to leave again, and of the politics and the judgement that happens so often in churches.

But Parkway, in a lot of ways very different and I'm very thankful God led me and my family there. There have been wonderous changes in my family since attending 3 1/2 years ago. God is good and always faithful.

Resurrection Thoughts

It’s my favorite time of year. I love spring because the flowers are blooming and their sweet scent is in the air. But most of all I love Easter.

For me the air is alive with anticipation. As I write this it’s Good Friday. The day Christ died. Many in Christiandom like to focus on the sacrifice that was made for us. The dieing. Even in the movie Passion of the Christ the emphasis was on the brutality of his death and the resurrection was just touched on, a brief mentioning of the event.

My pastor likes to say that Jesus is a Liar, a Lunatic or Lord. This distinction is significant because of the event we are about to celebrate. You have to look at a man who claimed to be God in the flesh and wonder is he a Liar. How bold to claim deity in a place that worshiped the one true God that prided itself on following rules to holiness. But yet he performed so many miracles in their presence. Was he crazy? A lunatic? Wandering around the countryside convincing men to leave their families and follow him? Preaching things so radically different that he couldn't help but to rile Pharisee feathers?

Or was he Lord? The death of Christ could have been the end if he was a Liar or a Lunatic. While the sacrifice was what was required for the shedding of our sins it was not the completion of the act. For without the Resurrection the sacrifice was not adequate. You see the Jews were required to sacrifice lambs and doves for their sins but the blood only lasted a short time. It only covered so many sins until they had to do it again.

But with Jesus he was to be sacrificed once and for his blood to cover all our sins forever he had to be proved LORD. That was accomplished three days from this Good Friday.
The day that he proved his sacrifice was complete and that he was indeed enough blood to cover everyone’s sins forever. Easter!!! His rising proved that he is My LORD and personal SAVIOUR and that my sins are forgotten and forgiven. So are yours for he indeed is....
JESUS the CHRIST Lord of us all! Happy Resurrection day everyone.