I have lived 45 years on this earth so far. Looking back I am so much wiser than I was even 15 years ago so much more self aware. There are days that I wish I could bottle the things I have learned and give it out in spoon full’s to people that I meet or even my own children to save them the pain of learning time. But, Alas I can not and each must learn their own lessons on their own time.
I think I have learned most about myself in the last 5 years thanks to some very insightful Christian woman who have counseled me through some very difficult times. I have finally gained some clarity and names for “gifts” that God has seen fit to give me that have helped me embrace the creature God made me and not be afraid or ashamed because of what people might think. (I’m still working on the what people might think part.)
When I was very young I remember watching Star Trek every week with my father. I don’t know what age I was here I just remember the episode. The episode was called The Empath. Basically Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock found themselves trapped in a laboratory with Mute woman that was very pretty and had the most amazingly sad eyes. In this show she was very shy and afraid and seemed to want to avoid the two men. Dr McCoy named her Gem. As it turns out a scientist from another planet was using Gem in experiments to test how far she would go to help someone. Even if it meant death to her. You see Gem was an Empath. She felt and took on other people’s emotion and even their pain. Her empathy was so great that she would actually take on the injury of someone else and by doing so heal them.
As a little girl I had no idea why but I related to this woman on a deeply personal level. I knew that we were the same somehow I felt a connection to this character that would stay with me for the rest of my life.
I knew I was different at a very young age. But you learn as a kid to keep your mouth shut. Other kids can be brutal if they think you are different. Then there is being raised in an evangelical church that adds to the paranoia. We were taught over and over that some things are just of the Devil and if it fell into the “Metaphysical” world it was witchcraft or a sin. I have come to understand that the church just doesn’t know what to do with people with gifts so they ignore them or make them sinful but the world embraces people with gifts and often time misuse them.
The Bible talks about many spiritual gifts. The gift of Prophecy, Tongues, and even the gift of dreams or the interpretation of them as Daniel did. But some in the modern church over look or even shun such things because it makes them uncomfortable. So I ignored and pushed down the things that I experienced for fear of anyone knowing and thinking that I was sinful or weird. This often led to great bouts of depression and terrible anxiety. I struggled horribly as a child being easily overwhelmed by others emotions or pain. So I learned to isolate myself when I needed too.
If you haven’t guessed yet. Like Gem I am an empath. I am empathic in the sense that I sense other people’s emotion. I feel their energy and it effects me physically if I can’t block it. At first it was all very conveniently explained away as I was just sensitive or high strung. Then I was told that, I am just really really observant. I read body language well… someone must have told me stuff about what they were going through etc..etc...
What I have discovered is that emotion seems amplified to me. Some people project their emotion stronger than others. When I get around some people I pick up on whether they are having a bad day or not. If they are depressed, scared, angry or mistrustful. The even keeled people are a relief to be around and crowds are hard. The worst part is people with extreme anger issues. Rage and Anger are amplified and if directed at me is very intense and damaging. I have found through the years that I react to angry people based on the feelings rolling off them not necessarily their words or actions.
I seem to be talking about this a lot lately. I think it’s a test in a way. I’m trying to live out loud. I guess I’m testing the waters to see if others accept me if they know. It’s a risk I guess I’m finally willing to take. A large step toward healing and hopefully closer to a more mature walk with the Lord.
In my new found boldness about my gift. (That often feels like a curse.) I found another person just like me. I can’t tell you how comforting that was. That was a true GIFT from God.
Beam me up Scotty it’s time to BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE. (Sorry I couldn’t resist.)
Sherry (OUT)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
What kind of life do you deserve?
Recently someone said to me “You have the kind of life you deserve.” She meant it in a bad way. She meant it to hurt me because she is so hurt and lost and full of pain. But I didn’t take it that way. I didn’t take it as meaning that I deserved the bad that has happened in my life. I took it totally different than someone without Christ in their lives would have taken it.
Have there been bad and ugly thing that have happened to me along this journey? Oh yes! The bible says in John 16:33
33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
There have been some very bad things in my life but I didn’t let them hold me down. I didn’t let them make me bitter and angry. I let them go and gave them to the one that has overcome the world. Everyone has bad in their lives.
But not everyone can stand and say that the Lord chose to reveal himself to them in very real and miraculous ways. Did I deserve to be healed from Leukemia at 8 years of age? Did I deserve to be sent angels when lost on the side of the road in the desert at 16? How about escaping from an angry gang of thugs unscathed? No I didn’t DESERVE any of that but the Lord saw fit to do it anyway.
When I was young I saw my glass as half empty but now as I have grown in Christ my glass is always full. Yes in this life there will be trouble and there will be good and bad days. But the Lord has seen fit to give me a wonderful husband that makes me laugh daily. He has given me two great, sweet, wonderful and talented girls that keep me young. And, he has given me Life….. Life in Abundance.
Have there been bad and ugly thing that have happened to me along this journey? Oh yes! The bible says in John 16:33
33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
There have been some very bad things in my life but I didn’t let them hold me down. I didn’t let them make me bitter and angry. I let them go and gave them to the one that has overcome the world. Everyone has bad in their lives.
But not everyone can stand and say that the Lord chose to reveal himself to them in very real and miraculous ways. Did I deserve to be healed from Leukemia at 8 years of age? Did I deserve to be sent angels when lost on the side of the road in the desert at 16? How about escaping from an angry gang of thugs unscathed? No I didn’t DESERVE any of that but the Lord saw fit to do it anyway.
When I was young I saw my glass as half empty but now as I have grown in Christ my glass is always full. Yes in this life there will be trouble and there will be good and bad days. But the Lord has seen fit to give me a wonderful husband that makes me laugh daily. He has given me two great, sweet, wonderful and talented girls that keep me young. And, he has given me Life….. Life in Abundance.
Friday, October 30, 2009
God's Protection at 16
I want to restate just in case whom ever is reading is wondering. I am writing all this down to hopefully someday put it in a book. I'm not writing it in order. I'm just writing as I see fit to do so. As time goes on you will be able to see I have a lot of stories because I have had a lot of things happen to me. Some are wonderful God stories and some are horrible hurtful stories.
My goal here is to make the reader realize that Romans 8:28 is true and with your eye's firmly planted on God you can overcome anything.
Here is my next story....
When I was 15 or 16 my Father became a minister. He took an assistant pastor's position at a very small church in South Phoenix. This little church was on Broadway and 7th street. At that time South Phoenix was the "BAD" part of town.
The church was so small that there wasn't enough workers to do the things needed so as one of the Pastors children I was put to work. I helped in Children's Church and sang every week and pretty much did what was needed. On Saturday's I would go with my father and some other people from the church to visit kids and invite them to Children's Church and make arrangements to pick them up on the Church bus the next morning. We would go to the projects and knock on doors. Sometimes I would dress up in a Snoopy costume to draw the kids to us.
When I turned 16 and got my drivers license I started doing this with one other young person and my Father would do other things for the church while I was going door to door. There were even times that I would drive the bus on Sunday mornings to pick up the kids when the normal bus driver was not there.
One Saturday the Lead Pastor wanted his daughter and foster daughter to go with me on my visitations that day. They both had gotten in trouble with shoplifting and their punishment was to go with me. Needless to say they didn't want to be there.
This particular day we started our visitation rounds in the projects. I was driving my AMC Concord with crank windows. My window was rolled down and because of a shabby speaker installation it didn't roll up or down easily. We arrived at a apartment of one of the little boys that attended and I went up to his door. Across the street was a Gang of men probably 18 to 25 years of age. I can't tell you how many their were I just know there were at least 5 that I saw. They were drinking and the minute the three of us emerged from the car they started calling to us and making very vulgar comments. I ignored them and made my way to the little boys apartment but the other two just couldn't let it go. I can't tell you what was said all I knew is there was screaming and cussing and vulgar threats made from the guys as well as the two Pastor's daughters. The little boy's mother was afraid to open the door when I knocked and she told me through the door to leave the area because of this gang of guys outside was very dangerous.
So I turned to leave and saw that the gang was angry and was starting to come toward us. I told the girls to shut their mouths and run to the car. I told them to lock their doors as they got in. We all started running. The two of them made it to the car with just enough time to slip in and lock it. But not me. I got in and shut the door but my window was open ...I didn't stand a chance.
The thing I remember the most was the feeling of my long hair being pulled up. One of the men had made it too my side while the others were kicking and beating on the other girls doors. Bottles were being thrown at the car and shattering all around the car. Soon I was half out of the car with a broken bottle held to my neck. This very large man had a death grip on my hair and was pulling me out of the car by it through my window. I had managed to have my keys out and the Pastors daughter (Lori) saw that I was trying to get her to put them into the ignition. My lower body was still in the car and my foot could reach the gas but not for long.
I was scared to death but all I could think of was that it was my job to keep these girls safe. So I started talking... He kept asking me what the girls had called them? I had no idea and I told him so, and I apologized to him for their disrespect and somehow started talking to him about God's love. I kept thinking about the book about Nicky Cruse and how he turned from a life in a gang to a man of God and I kept talking. I can't tell you what all I said but I just kept talking and he stopped pulling. Soon his grip lessened on my hair and with my right hand I signaled for Lori to start the car.
It was a miracle. I don't know how my hair wasn't ripped from my head but in one motion the car started she slammed it in drive and I stepped on the gas with the top half of my body out of the car. The glass bottle cut my throat a little bit as I slipped out of his grasp and managed to pull myself back in the car and drive as fast as I could to get us out of there. The men were furious. They ran after us and was throwing stuff but they never caught us. They never got in a car. Nothing.
I was scary calm while the other two girls were hysterical. As we drove to the nearest Convenience store to call the police I started praying for someone to help. I saw a Cable truck on the side of the road with a very large man in it and I pulled the car over and got out. As I walked toward the man emotion overwhelmed me and I started to cry uncontrollably. The most wonderful thing was this man was a Christian and all he said was "How can I help?" and he hugged me. I can't remember a time in my life when a hug felt so peaceful. I don't remember what he said or what he did but withing the hour our Fathers were there and so were the Police.
I don't remember thanking that man but I did thank God for him.
Note: In no way do I think that it was appropriate for teenage girls to be left to do that visitation. That was just one of several very poor parenting choices that hurt me. But I do believe in forgiveness no matter how hard and God was always there to pick up the pieces and help me move on.
I'm glad he is my protection.
Thanks for listening,
Sherry
My goal here is to make the reader realize that Romans 8:28 is true and with your eye's firmly planted on God you can overcome anything.
Here is my next story....
When I was 15 or 16 my Father became a minister. He took an assistant pastor's position at a very small church in South Phoenix. This little church was on Broadway and 7th street. At that time South Phoenix was the "BAD" part of town.
The church was so small that there wasn't enough workers to do the things needed so as one of the Pastors children I was put to work. I helped in Children's Church and sang every week and pretty much did what was needed. On Saturday's I would go with my father and some other people from the church to visit kids and invite them to Children's Church and make arrangements to pick them up on the Church bus the next morning. We would go to the projects and knock on doors. Sometimes I would dress up in a Snoopy costume to draw the kids to us.
When I turned 16 and got my drivers license I started doing this with one other young person and my Father would do other things for the church while I was going door to door. There were even times that I would drive the bus on Sunday mornings to pick up the kids when the normal bus driver was not there.
One Saturday the Lead Pastor wanted his daughter and foster daughter to go with me on my visitations that day. They both had gotten in trouble with shoplifting and their punishment was to go with me. Needless to say they didn't want to be there.
This particular day we started our visitation rounds in the projects. I was driving my AMC Concord with crank windows. My window was rolled down and because of a shabby speaker installation it didn't roll up or down easily. We arrived at a apartment of one of the little boys that attended and I went up to his door. Across the street was a Gang of men probably 18 to 25 years of age. I can't tell you how many their were I just know there were at least 5 that I saw. They were drinking and the minute the three of us emerged from the car they started calling to us and making very vulgar comments. I ignored them and made my way to the little boys apartment but the other two just couldn't let it go. I can't tell you what was said all I knew is there was screaming and cussing and vulgar threats made from the guys as well as the two Pastor's daughters. The little boy's mother was afraid to open the door when I knocked and she told me through the door to leave the area because of this gang of guys outside was very dangerous.
So I turned to leave and saw that the gang was angry and was starting to come toward us. I told the girls to shut their mouths and run to the car. I told them to lock their doors as they got in. We all started running. The two of them made it to the car with just enough time to slip in and lock it. But not me. I got in and shut the door but my window was open ...I didn't stand a chance.
The thing I remember the most was the feeling of my long hair being pulled up. One of the men had made it too my side while the others were kicking and beating on the other girls doors. Bottles were being thrown at the car and shattering all around the car. Soon I was half out of the car with a broken bottle held to my neck. This very large man had a death grip on my hair and was pulling me out of the car by it through my window. I had managed to have my keys out and the Pastors daughter (Lori) saw that I was trying to get her to put them into the ignition. My lower body was still in the car and my foot could reach the gas but not for long.
I was scared to death but all I could think of was that it was my job to keep these girls safe. So I started talking... He kept asking me what the girls had called them? I had no idea and I told him so, and I apologized to him for their disrespect and somehow started talking to him about God's love. I kept thinking about the book about Nicky Cruse and how he turned from a life in a gang to a man of God and I kept talking. I can't tell you what all I said but I just kept talking and he stopped pulling. Soon his grip lessened on my hair and with my right hand I signaled for Lori to start the car.
It was a miracle. I don't know how my hair wasn't ripped from my head but in one motion the car started she slammed it in drive and I stepped on the gas with the top half of my body out of the car. The glass bottle cut my throat a little bit as I slipped out of his grasp and managed to pull myself back in the car and drive as fast as I could to get us out of there. The men were furious. They ran after us and was throwing stuff but they never caught us. They never got in a car. Nothing.
I was scary calm while the other two girls were hysterical. As we drove to the nearest Convenience store to call the police I started praying for someone to help. I saw a Cable truck on the side of the road with a very large man in it and I pulled the car over and got out. As I walked toward the man emotion overwhelmed me and I started to cry uncontrollably. The most wonderful thing was this man was a Christian and all he said was "How can I help?" and he hugged me. I can't remember a time in my life when a hug felt so peaceful. I don't remember what he said or what he did but withing the hour our Fathers were there and so were the Police.
I don't remember thanking that man but I did thank God for him.
Note: In no way do I think that it was appropriate for teenage girls to be left to do that visitation. That was just one of several very poor parenting choices that hurt me. But I do believe in forgiveness no matter how hard and God was always there to pick up the pieces and help me move on.
I'm glad he is my protection.
Thanks for listening,
Sherry
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Shatter the Pot
I was married to Bill for 11 years. I married him because I loved him. I look back know and I also married him to get out of my house and a horrible situation. I knew that was the only way I was going to be allowed to leave. But that is another story for another day.
At the end my ex husband had 4 affairs that I knew about. Who knows how many he really had and he ended up marrying the last affair. But again that is another story for another day.
You needed that info however for today's story.
During that horrible and painful time in my life I went to a fantastic church. I was lead singer on the worship team and I had wonderful friends there. I worked with the Jr. High kids too and that was great fun.This church that shall remain nameless was a Vineyard church and very Charismatic. The Pastor was a great teacher and seemed very caring and kind.
I turned Thirty the year of my divorce and it was 1994.Towards the end of my marriage and the great turmoil and conflict that was happening the Pastor one day gave me a prophetic word from the Lord. He said " I (the Lord) had to shatter the pot which was made of clay in order to make a new pot out of gold. I shall bring you through this painful shattering and my hands will make you gold." I knew then that my marriage was over but I hung in there because I didn't want to believe he was having yet another affair.Well he was ,with our married neighbor and the pot did indeed shatter.It was a horrible time in my life.
The church and Pastor was so wonderful and I felt comfortable to go into the church and lay at the alter and cry. The worship team rallied around me and the Pastor and his wife befriended me and helped me through. It was the way Christians were supposed to be.
Until.....I can't say when it actually started it just creeped up like a cancer. At the time I worked almost right next door to the church so I would go over every Tuesday for morning prayer with the staff. It helped comfort me during this horrible time. Then one day the Pastor ask me to lunch and we went and played pool after eating. He was a very kind man about 20 years older than I. He seemed to really care about me which I didn't get from my real Dad so I thrived on his attention. It was very innocent at least from my part.
I was struggling to feed Kayle and I because her father wasn't paying child support and the Pastor offered me the Bookstore Managers position which was now a paying job. It took me a couple of nights a week but helped immensely with my financial situation.I found that when I was there stocking the Pastor (Let's call him Jim) Jim stayed late or found reasons to be there and he would come help me and we would talk. It was nice to have someone to talk to. He would hug me good bye and the feeling was wonderful. However, one day Jim looked very nervous he brought me a gift. It was the new Amy Grant tape and he said he needed to talk to me. So we went in his office after Pastor school ( yes I had started going to Pastor's school) he sat down really nervous and told me that he had fallen in love with me. He wanted me to know that I did nothing wrong but that he was struggling with his feelings and he was going to distance himself from me until he could get a grip on it. It made me very sad because I had come to rely on his counsel and time to help me get through my horrible divorce.At some point things changed with him and he told me that he would be able to handle how he felt. I was naive and believed him.
We started having lunch again and talking and I started dating the guitar player at church. He was a very very talented guy and for the first time in a long time I was excited about the possibility of a new relationship. We went out a few times and managed to stay physically pure however much later in the story I found out that he was struggling with that. He went to see Pastor Jim about it. Jim told him that the Lord had someone special for me and it wasn't the guitar player and if he continued he would not be blessed. Mr Guitar dropped me like a hot potato. My self esteem took yet another hit.
Then it was Christmas.....It was my first Christmas unmarried. I was very poor and Kayle and I lived in a one room apartment and slept in the same room. A lady from work gave me a 3ft fake Christmas tree to use but I had no money for presents. One day at work I was called to the front desk and there was bouquet of roses there for me. On the card was Day 12 of the 12 Days of Christmas from someone who loved me. I was excited and ask who had brought them. Our receptionist had gone to my church a few times and said she thought it was Pastor Jim. I didn't know what to think. From that day on I got something every day. On day 10 it was a $100 gift certificate to Toys R us so I could buy presents. On day 5 it was $50 to Victoria's secret, day 4 was an entire outfit of cloths in my size. Every day seemed more and more personal. Day 1 was a box full of mistletoe and a card signed with XX's and OO's. I didn't know what to do. I was very uncomfortable but I loved the attention. What attention starved woman wouldn't?I thanked Jim and went on as usually with a few awkward moments through in when I found myself trapped in a room with him alone. Nothing physical ever happened but I have a feeling all I would have had to do was say yes.
I had started dating a man from my work. Mike is my husband now and one of the best things that has happened to me. Mike was not a Christian and didn't go to our church. Jim had no way to get to him. Mike started attending church with me occasionally and ended up giving his life to the Lord. Jim was very possessive I found out and since he couldn't scare Mike off he thought I guess that he would try his hand scaring me away from Mike.One day I was called in his office and he had written what he called a Prophecy the Lord had given him. It was four pages long. It said that I was a liar and that the Lord was very displeased with me. It said lots of things but the most damaging was that I was in sin and if I married Mike the Lord would take my voice away for my disobedience. I would never be able to minister again in song. I was devastated. I love singing it was the one thing that helped me get through all the rough times. Jim also said that he had let our music minister and his wife read it to make sure he was hearing from God. I was horrified. These two people had no idea what Jim had been doing and saying to me and now they thought I was doing something horrible.
I went home and cried for days and prayed a lot. I had been through such a horrible year that I thought I would just curl up and die. During my crying out to God I heard....Yep heard a voice. That doesn't happen to me often but it did that day. I heard him tell me the name of a church and a Pastor and he told me to take my prophecy to him and let him read it and do what he said.So I did. I had never heard of this man or his Church before but I found it and made an appointment. I told him that I got this prophecy from my Pastor and what the Lord had told me to do. Nothing else. He read the four pages and looked up at me with tears in his eyes. He apologised for Pastoral abuse in general and told me to get away from this man because he had an unhealthy tie to me. He told me not to go back to this church ever again and that this was all a lie for the pit of hell. I thanked him with lots of tears and left and did just as he said with one exception.
I had my hands in so many ministries that I couldn't just leave and not say anything. So I went back one last time. Jim's wife had gotten very ill and he wasn't there that day. I resigned to the Music minister without explanation and left a resignation letter on Jim's desk.I never looked back. It was very hard after that to want to join a church. There was a lot of self doubt about my voice for years after that. But I went on to marry Mike and we have been happy for 14 years now.
The people of the church started tons of rumors that I was pregnant or that I had hurt someone there. No one ever knew the truth and when I would run into people from their they would treat me horrible.I found out a few years later that Jim was having inappropriate relationships with women again and it had gotten him in trouble. He eventually lost his church.I guess the Lord knows what he is doing when he Shatters a Pot.
At the end my ex husband had 4 affairs that I knew about. Who knows how many he really had and he ended up marrying the last affair. But again that is another story for another day.
You needed that info however for today's story.
During that horrible and painful time in my life I went to a fantastic church. I was lead singer on the worship team and I had wonderful friends there. I worked with the Jr. High kids too and that was great fun.This church that shall remain nameless was a Vineyard church and very Charismatic. The Pastor was a great teacher and seemed very caring and kind.
I turned Thirty the year of my divorce and it was 1994.Towards the end of my marriage and the great turmoil and conflict that was happening the Pastor one day gave me a prophetic word from the Lord. He said " I (the Lord) had to shatter the pot which was made of clay in order to make a new pot out of gold. I shall bring you through this painful shattering and my hands will make you gold." I knew then that my marriage was over but I hung in there because I didn't want to believe he was having yet another affair.Well he was ,with our married neighbor and the pot did indeed shatter.It was a horrible time in my life.
The church and Pastor was so wonderful and I felt comfortable to go into the church and lay at the alter and cry. The worship team rallied around me and the Pastor and his wife befriended me and helped me through. It was the way Christians were supposed to be.
Until.....I can't say when it actually started it just creeped up like a cancer. At the time I worked almost right next door to the church so I would go over every Tuesday for morning prayer with the staff. It helped comfort me during this horrible time. Then one day the Pastor ask me to lunch and we went and played pool after eating. He was a very kind man about 20 years older than I. He seemed to really care about me which I didn't get from my real Dad so I thrived on his attention. It was very innocent at least from my part.
I was struggling to feed Kayle and I because her father wasn't paying child support and the Pastor offered me the Bookstore Managers position which was now a paying job. It took me a couple of nights a week but helped immensely with my financial situation.I found that when I was there stocking the Pastor (Let's call him Jim) Jim stayed late or found reasons to be there and he would come help me and we would talk. It was nice to have someone to talk to. He would hug me good bye and the feeling was wonderful. However, one day Jim looked very nervous he brought me a gift. It was the new Amy Grant tape and he said he needed to talk to me. So we went in his office after Pastor school ( yes I had started going to Pastor's school) he sat down really nervous and told me that he had fallen in love with me. He wanted me to know that I did nothing wrong but that he was struggling with his feelings and he was going to distance himself from me until he could get a grip on it. It made me very sad because I had come to rely on his counsel and time to help me get through my horrible divorce.At some point things changed with him and he told me that he would be able to handle how he felt. I was naive and believed him.
We started having lunch again and talking and I started dating the guitar player at church. He was a very very talented guy and for the first time in a long time I was excited about the possibility of a new relationship. We went out a few times and managed to stay physically pure however much later in the story I found out that he was struggling with that. He went to see Pastor Jim about it. Jim told him that the Lord had someone special for me and it wasn't the guitar player and if he continued he would not be blessed. Mr Guitar dropped me like a hot potato. My self esteem took yet another hit.
Then it was Christmas.....It was my first Christmas unmarried. I was very poor and Kayle and I lived in a one room apartment and slept in the same room. A lady from work gave me a 3ft fake Christmas tree to use but I had no money for presents. One day at work I was called to the front desk and there was bouquet of roses there for me. On the card was Day 12 of the 12 Days of Christmas from someone who loved me. I was excited and ask who had brought them. Our receptionist had gone to my church a few times and said she thought it was Pastor Jim. I didn't know what to think. From that day on I got something every day. On day 10 it was a $100 gift certificate to Toys R us so I could buy presents. On day 5 it was $50 to Victoria's secret, day 4 was an entire outfit of cloths in my size. Every day seemed more and more personal. Day 1 was a box full of mistletoe and a card signed with XX's and OO's. I didn't know what to do. I was very uncomfortable but I loved the attention. What attention starved woman wouldn't?I thanked Jim and went on as usually with a few awkward moments through in when I found myself trapped in a room with him alone. Nothing physical ever happened but I have a feeling all I would have had to do was say yes.
I had started dating a man from my work. Mike is my husband now and one of the best things that has happened to me. Mike was not a Christian and didn't go to our church. Jim had no way to get to him. Mike started attending church with me occasionally and ended up giving his life to the Lord. Jim was very possessive I found out and since he couldn't scare Mike off he thought I guess that he would try his hand scaring me away from Mike.One day I was called in his office and he had written what he called a Prophecy the Lord had given him. It was four pages long. It said that I was a liar and that the Lord was very displeased with me. It said lots of things but the most damaging was that I was in sin and if I married Mike the Lord would take my voice away for my disobedience. I would never be able to minister again in song. I was devastated. I love singing it was the one thing that helped me get through all the rough times. Jim also said that he had let our music minister and his wife read it to make sure he was hearing from God. I was horrified. These two people had no idea what Jim had been doing and saying to me and now they thought I was doing something horrible.
I went home and cried for days and prayed a lot. I had been through such a horrible year that I thought I would just curl up and die. During my crying out to God I heard....Yep heard a voice. That doesn't happen to me often but it did that day. I heard him tell me the name of a church and a Pastor and he told me to take my prophecy to him and let him read it and do what he said.So I did. I had never heard of this man or his Church before but I found it and made an appointment. I told him that I got this prophecy from my Pastor and what the Lord had told me to do. Nothing else. He read the four pages and looked up at me with tears in his eyes. He apologised for Pastoral abuse in general and told me to get away from this man because he had an unhealthy tie to me. He told me not to go back to this church ever again and that this was all a lie for the pit of hell. I thanked him with lots of tears and left and did just as he said with one exception.
I had my hands in so many ministries that I couldn't just leave and not say anything. So I went back one last time. Jim's wife had gotten very ill and he wasn't there that day. I resigned to the Music minister without explanation and left a resignation letter on Jim's desk.I never looked back. It was very hard after that to want to join a church. There was a lot of self doubt about my voice for years after that. But I went on to marry Mike and we have been happy for 14 years now.
The people of the church started tons of rumors that I was pregnant or that I had hurt someone there. No one ever knew the truth and when I would run into people from their they would treat me horrible.I found out a few years later that Jim was having inappropriate relationships with women again and it had gotten him in trouble. He eventually lost his church.I guess the Lord knows what he is doing when he Shatters a Pot.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Fried Chicken an Friends
Fried Chicken. If I have an addiction it’s probably Fried Chicken. I love it but I don’t have to have it daily or even weekly but I find when I make my own I over eat it. So does that mean I’m a functioning Fried Chicken-a-holic?
I seem to have another addiction too. I'm a peace maker. I don't let people go easily. I know this is the way God made me. I have met this trait in others along the way but it never seems to be as strong.
I have analyzed this trait in me. I've flipped it around and poked it with a stick. I've even yelled at it and told it to just go away. But still it's there. I sense the unease in people of the discord and I want to fix it.
I watch people make complete asses out of themselves trying to posture and be stubborn but still I try.
Sometimes I feel like this is a horrible addiction that brings me great pain. Then again I must love the pain because I do it over and over and over.
The bible says in Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the Peacemakers for they shall be called Sons of God.
I guess I'll have to settle for that.... And maybe some Fried Chicken.
I seem to have another addiction too. I'm a peace maker. I don't let people go easily. I know this is the way God made me. I have met this trait in others along the way but it never seems to be as strong.
I have analyzed this trait in me. I've flipped it around and poked it with a stick. I've even yelled at it and told it to just go away. But still it's there. I sense the unease in people of the discord and I want to fix it.
I watch people make complete asses out of themselves trying to posture and be stubborn but still I try.
Sometimes I feel like this is a horrible addiction that brings me great pain. Then again I must love the pain because I do it over and over and over.
The bible says in Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the Peacemakers for they shall be called Sons of God.
I guess I'll have to settle for that.... And maybe some Fried Chicken.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Seeing Angels at Eight
What I'm about to tell you is a gift. A gift from God to an eight year old girl and a gift I can share with you about faith, grace and healing.
MY TESTIMONY
When I was eight years old I became very very ill. I contracted every childhood disease within the span of a few months. Measles, Mumps, Chicken pox and the list went on and on. My father was in the air force and stationed in Mississippi he had been sent to Thailand for a tour of duty and my mother and I stayed in Mississippi. My mother had to deal with a very sick child alone. She continually took me to the military base hospital every time I got sick. They treated me for whatever illness I had and sent me home.
Then one day while playing with a friend I fainted. My friend’s father picked me up and carried me to my house. My mom was frantic. They rushed me to the base emergency room and after a few tests they admitted me. I stayed in that hospital a couple of weeks. I didn't know what was wrong with me but later I learned they discovered that I had a rare form of sickle cell Leukemia and I was in stage 4. (I am a Lilly white and freckle faced child.) They had missed the underlying problem it so often that I was now at a point in my disease that I was beyond help. I don't know if they did bone marrow transplants in 1972 but I didn't get one nor did I ever have radiation treatment.
They transferred me to a Children's hospital in Alabama and made arrangements for my father to come home because they only gave me a few months to live. I had a team of 7 doctors and they drew blood everyday apparently it was a mystery as to why a white girl had a black persons disease. For an eight year old it was very scary and my mother never told me what I had they just told me that I was very sick.
We attended a small Assembly of God church back in Mississippi and one night after I had been in the AL hospital for a couple of weeks our church got together and had an all night pray vigil for me. On that same night in Alabama my parents had left to go back to their room at the local AF base for the evening and I stayed up to watch TV. I had a private room and my door squeaked so I knew when someone came in my room. As I was watching TV all of a sudden a beautiful black nurse stood by my bed (she was stunningly beautiful). She startled me because I didn't hear her come in. She asks me how I was feeling and I said very tired and a little scared because I didn't know what was wrong with me. She smiled and touched my arm and told me that I didn't need to be afraid that I was going to be fine and that the Lord loved me very much. I remember closing my eye's and shaking my head and saying " I Know." when I opened my eyes she was gone and I didn't hear her leave.
The next morning I woke up feeling better than I had in months. My mother came in the room and remarked on how well I looked. I told her about the nurse’s visit the night before and that I really did feel good. They had come and taken a blood sample already that morning. My mother remarked that my countenance was totally peaceful and she wanted to thank that nurse for her help. She went to the nurses’ station and asked about the nurse taking care of me that night. The nurse at the station asks my mother to describe her. My mom told her that I said she was black and pretty. The nurse told her that no one worked there that fit that description. My mother said well she is probably the night nurse. The nurse looked at her rather irritated and told her… and this is a quote from my mother. “Ma’am this is Alabama we don't have black nurses at this hospital".
Well that is God's way of letting us know in no uncertain terms that he was the great physician. That day they came back and took more blood. After testing me over and over again one of our doctors came in and told my parents that I no longer was sick in any way. The Leukemia was completely gone and they had not done it. They had not treated me at all so it must be a miracle.
Praise the Lord. Only God would send a black Angel dressed as a nurse to a white hospital in the South to make sure there was no doubt that God healed me. I like to say that it proves God has a sense of humor too.
Anyway… To this day I have never had any sign of the Leukemia reoccurring and my blood is so clean they give it to preemie babies when I donate. Since that time I have had many Doctors try to tell me that I must not have had Leukemia that it just doesn’t go away. I have found that non believers will say anything to explain the unexplainable.
I can honestly say that since that day my faith has never wavered. I haven't had a charmed life and have had many struggles that would have beat down anyone. But I know that 37 years ago God chose to heal a little girl for a reason and he gave me a voice so I will sing and praise him forever for it.
Thanks for letting me share my miracle with you.
MY TESTIMONY
When I was eight years old I became very very ill. I contracted every childhood disease within the span of a few months. Measles, Mumps, Chicken pox and the list went on and on. My father was in the air force and stationed in Mississippi he had been sent to Thailand for a tour of duty and my mother and I stayed in Mississippi. My mother had to deal with a very sick child alone. She continually took me to the military base hospital every time I got sick. They treated me for whatever illness I had and sent me home.
Then one day while playing with a friend I fainted. My friend’s father picked me up and carried me to my house. My mom was frantic. They rushed me to the base emergency room and after a few tests they admitted me. I stayed in that hospital a couple of weeks. I didn't know what was wrong with me but later I learned they discovered that I had a rare form of sickle cell Leukemia and I was in stage 4. (I am a Lilly white and freckle faced child.) They had missed the underlying problem it so often that I was now at a point in my disease that I was beyond help. I don't know if they did bone marrow transplants in 1972 but I didn't get one nor did I ever have radiation treatment.
They transferred me to a Children's hospital in Alabama and made arrangements for my father to come home because they only gave me a few months to live. I had a team of 7 doctors and they drew blood everyday apparently it was a mystery as to why a white girl had a black persons disease. For an eight year old it was very scary and my mother never told me what I had they just told me that I was very sick.
We attended a small Assembly of God church back in Mississippi and one night after I had been in the AL hospital for a couple of weeks our church got together and had an all night pray vigil for me. On that same night in Alabama my parents had left to go back to their room at the local AF base for the evening and I stayed up to watch TV. I had a private room and my door squeaked so I knew when someone came in my room. As I was watching TV all of a sudden a beautiful black nurse stood by my bed (she was stunningly beautiful). She startled me because I didn't hear her come in. She asks me how I was feeling and I said very tired and a little scared because I didn't know what was wrong with me. She smiled and touched my arm and told me that I didn't need to be afraid that I was going to be fine and that the Lord loved me very much. I remember closing my eye's and shaking my head and saying " I Know." when I opened my eyes she was gone and I didn't hear her leave.
The next morning I woke up feeling better than I had in months. My mother came in the room and remarked on how well I looked. I told her about the nurse’s visit the night before and that I really did feel good. They had come and taken a blood sample already that morning. My mother remarked that my countenance was totally peaceful and she wanted to thank that nurse for her help. She went to the nurses’ station and asked about the nurse taking care of me that night. The nurse at the station asks my mother to describe her. My mom told her that I said she was black and pretty. The nurse told her that no one worked there that fit that description. My mother said well she is probably the night nurse. The nurse looked at her rather irritated and told her… and this is a quote from my mother. “Ma’am this is Alabama we don't have black nurses at this hospital".
Well that is God's way of letting us know in no uncertain terms that he was the great physician. That day they came back and took more blood. After testing me over and over again one of our doctors came in and told my parents that I no longer was sick in any way. The Leukemia was completely gone and they had not done it. They had not treated me at all so it must be a miracle.
Praise the Lord. Only God would send a black Angel dressed as a nurse to a white hospital in the South to make sure there was no doubt that God healed me. I like to say that it proves God has a sense of humor too.
Anyway… To this day I have never had any sign of the Leukemia reoccurring and my blood is so clean they give it to preemie babies when I donate. Since that time I have had many Doctors try to tell me that I must not have had Leukemia that it just doesn’t go away. I have found that non believers will say anything to explain the unexplainable.
I can honestly say that since that day my faith has never wavered. I haven't had a charmed life and have had many struggles that would have beat down anyone. But I know that 37 years ago God chose to heal a little girl for a reason and he gave me a voice so I will sing and praise him forever for it.
Thanks for letting me share my miracle with you.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Fun, Perfect, Serious with no Self Esteem
A couple of months ago I took this personality assessment that is on Mark Gungor's flag page. www.flagpage.com I took it I made my husband, oldest daughter and her boyfriend all take it. I thought it would be fun. That it would help them get some insight as to who they are and what makes them tick. Well, I guess it worked.... I think. It definitely confirmed to me what I had known all along about them. But it also surprised me a bit.
In this test the results tell you basically what your primary "country" is and what your secondary "country" is. Countries are personality traits. There is Control, Peace, Perfect and Fun. My husband came out as a Control, Peace. CONTROL??? Really? I never see him try and control anything. Hmm I was stumped. So I ask him. And apparently he is a control freak at work. Nice... I don't work for or with him so I'm good. I have had the misfortune of having to drive him around as of late and I can honestly say he is a control freak when he is NOT driving. Who knew after 15 years of being together and 13 1/2 of those being married to him. Really, WHO KNEW? The Peace part is defined as the person not liking conflict so the go with the flow. Which pretty much describes him to a T except when I'm driving. :-) Thank you Mark Gungor for that enlightenment.
Ok so that was my husband. My oldest daughter on the other hand was a Perfect, peace. Again with the Peace thing.. which explains the deer in the headlights look when she is getting in trouble. But Perfect??? This is apparently a perfectionist/bossy trait which I think her younger sister would say is alive and well. I don't remember what her boyfriends second trait was but the first one was Peace. So you have a bossy doe eyed girl coupled with a mellow boy I am envisioning a lot of kumbaya going on.
Now to me. Well I took the test and I came out as a Fun, Perfect person. That is to say that my primary country was Fun. Well I do like adventure... I love to sky dive and rock climb and repel along with anything else I guess I could get away with. So I guess Fun fits. But then there is perfect..perfect..Hmmmm I didn't think I was bossy although I do run the house, and my department at work. I do set pretty high standards for myself so I guess I could live with that. Until......
My husband took another personality test. One way more complex, that is used by psychologists and councilors. They said some things about him that were very interesting and it gave us some insight to what goings on in his head. I helped him with this test I ask him the questions and wrote down his answers and even charted them for him. I kept thinking.... Wow I would answer that way different if that was me.
Then they thought it would be good to test me. Okay I can do this....So I took the same test and my answers were done in red so we could compare mine to his. It was weird I scored pretty even throughout everything on a scale from 1-10 I scored 2's and 3's across the seven or eight personality traits except for two. I scored a 0 on self esteem and I scored a 9 on Serious. So what does this mean????? I have no Idea yet. Except, I learned something about myself.
I think to much and apparently.....I am crazy.
Thanks for listening to the rantings of,
Sherry
In this test the results tell you basically what your primary "country" is and what your secondary "country" is. Countries are personality traits. There is Control, Peace, Perfect and Fun. My husband came out as a Control, Peace. CONTROL??? Really? I never see him try and control anything. Hmm I was stumped. So I ask him. And apparently he is a control freak at work. Nice... I don't work for or with him so I'm good. I have had the misfortune of having to drive him around as of late and I can honestly say he is a control freak when he is NOT driving. Who knew after 15 years of being together and 13 1/2 of those being married to him. Really, WHO KNEW? The Peace part is defined as the person not liking conflict so the go with the flow. Which pretty much describes him to a T except when I'm driving. :-) Thank you Mark Gungor for that enlightenment.
Ok so that was my husband. My oldest daughter on the other hand was a Perfect, peace. Again with the Peace thing.. which explains the deer in the headlights look when she is getting in trouble. But Perfect??? This is apparently a perfectionist/bossy trait which I think her younger sister would say is alive and well. I don't remember what her boyfriends second trait was but the first one was Peace. So you have a bossy doe eyed girl coupled with a mellow boy I am envisioning a lot of kumbaya going on.
Now to me. Well I took the test and I came out as a Fun, Perfect person. That is to say that my primary country was Fun. Well I do like adventure... I love to sky dive and rock climb and repel along with anything else I guess I could get away with. So I guess Fun fits. But then there is perfect..perfect..Hmmmm I didn't think I was bossy although I do run the house, and my department at work. I do set pretty high standards for myself so I guess I could live with that. Until......
My husband took another personality test. One way more complex, that is used by psychologists and councilors. They said some things about him that were very interesting and it gave us some insight to what goings on in his head. I helped him with this test I ask him the questions and wrote down his answers and even charted them for him. I kept thinking.... Wow I would answer that way different if that was me.
Then they thought it would be good to test me. Okay I can do this....So I took the same test and my answers were done in red so we could compare mine to his. It was weird I scored pretty even throughout everything on a scale from 1-10 I scored 2's and 3's across the seven or eight personality traits except for two. I scored a 0 on self esteem and I scored a 9 on Serious. So what does this mean????? I have no Idea yet. Except, I learned something about myself.
I think to much and apparently.....I am crazy.
Thanks for listening to the rantings of,
Sherry
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Peru #2 and thoughts
My life is crazy. The minute I returned from Peru all hell broke loose at home.
2 Timothy 2:3 says "Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus."
John 16:33 says "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
I guess I should be used to Satan's attack because I absolutely refuse to not do what I feel the Lord is leading me to do. But even though I expect it I wish it would stop. I'm growing weary. I'm struggling with depression and doing my best to stand on God promises. So if you're reading this please pray for my family.
Now back to Peru.... Day 3
This day we visited a typical school in the city. Peru is 90 something percent Catholic so project new hope has experienced some resistance when they have presented themselves as a Christian organization. So we went to this school telling the authorities that we were going to teach Bible principals and do crafts and games with the kids without telling them we weren't Catholic. Sneaky yes. But they were all for us teaching the kids about the Jesus and the Bible. It really struck me how fortunate they were that God was not taken out of the schools like it is here. It made me sad for us Americans and our children.
In Peru it is required you send your child to school but not enforced. The schools require uniforms and books be paid by the parents. Many parents can't even afford the lunch much less the clothes. So only the more well off kids go to school. Many kids are made to stay home and take care of the younger ones. The thing about this school is because of crime it had a very high wall around it with razor wire or glass on top. While we were playing games there was a young boy probably 10 or so standing on his roof outside the school watching us play. I could see the longing in his stance. I took a picture of him. It hurt my heart. One other thing we did a skit about the servants and the talents and the kids had to guess what our talents were. I sang Jesus loves me for them. It was amazing. I have been singing in public since I was 3 and never have I had this happen to me. Every child got perfectly quiet and even the kids in the classrooms that were not supposed to join us came to their windows. When I finished singing they roared with applause. It was a special special moment for me.
That afternoon we went to Barrio 5 the barrio by the sea. They made us a wonderful meal there. (Side note... I think I mixed up my days for morning activities. Day 2 morning was school Day 3 morning was special needs. ) I ask to visit homes this day because we had not yet seen the inside of a house and the other teams had. So the wife of the Barrio director took us around to several houses. Some were horribly poor and others were nicer. But it hit home with everyone how fortunate we all are in America. This barrio was full of kids and our men’s construction team had been there that week already putting in new playground equipment. So the kids came from everywhere when we called. (Via loud music) These kids had planned to put on a talent show for us. That is one thing I really loved about these people they love to dance for you. We gringos were the judges and then we got to dance with them. It was fun.
Day 4
We were scheduled for another school this day but because of the swine flu they closed the schools for the rest of the week. So we spent our whole day in Barrio 6 which is the one Parkway sponsors. Trent went with us this day too. We had a relay race with teams and did a youth thing inside the community center with the young people only. It was fun.
This day however we went to visit many homes in this barrio. One of the men of the church (Santiago) who had married the mother of his children last year. Wanted to show us his home. It was in the poorest of the poor part of this Barrio. He had done a great job with what he had and what he had wasn't much. The walls were plywood and woven palm and the roof was palm. The floors were sand like in all the homes. There was no kitchen just a large tin can in the back that his wife cooked their meals on. But he was beaming with pride. From what Trent said he had come a long way. We also visited a ladies home that held Bible studies there. She has breast cancer and had saved enough money for surgery to have her breast removed and some chemo. She was bald but she opened up her home to us with warmth and a glowing smile. We prayed with her to be healed. Me being the only person with a Charismatic background laid hands on her as we prayed. I really felt the Lords presence there and I felt prompted to tell her that I too had had cancer and the Lord healed me and he could her too. She needs to believe and claim it. She grabbed me hand hugged me so hard we both started crying. It moved me greatly and she thanked me for encouraging her to carry on and have Faith. I shall remember that forever.
Day 5
This was our final day with the team. We went to another special needs school that was in the city and much better funded than the first. We did crafts and made Indian fry bread with them. They sang and danced for us. These kids had varying things wrong with them. We gave out 14 angels to these kids. Each of us took two children to pray for, for a year.
Our last Barrio was one that did not have a community center. We got to this one early so we climbed the mountain/sand hill to look around. The poverty was astounding. I took pictures from the top and it just seemed to go on and on. We could see several barrios from this vantage point. Then we went down and set up make shift table in the sand and made homemade kites and butterflies. There seemed to be more kids here than any other barrio and when it was over I was exhausted from making butterflies with them and having kids hang on me for hours.
Our days were spent teaching, playing and helping and our nights were filled with talking and sharing everyone’s experiences. It seems we all had different ones but it affected each of us profoundly. We made good friends with other people from other churches and with the New Hope people who have dedicated their lives to Peru.
Now I know how to answer my Father when he asks me if I want to take over his Mission ministry when he is gone. The answer is YES!
Thanks for listening,
Sherry
2 Timothy 2:3 says "Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus."
John 16:33 says "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
I guess I should be used to Satan's attack because I absolutely refuse to not do what I feel the Lord is leading me to do. But even though I expect it I wish it would stop. I'm growing weary. I'm struggling with depression and doing my best to stand on God promises. So if you're reading this please pray for my family.
Now back to Peru.... Day 3
This day we visited a typical school in the city. Peru is 90 something percent Catholic so project new hope has experienced some resistance when they have presented themselves as a Christian organization. So we went to this school telling the authorities that we were going to teach Bible principals and do crafts and games with the kids without telling them we weren't Catholic. Sneaky yes. But they were all for us teaching the kids about the Jesus and the Bible. It really struck me how fortunate they were that God was not taken out of the schools like it is here. It made me sad for us Americans and our children.
In Peru it is required you send your child to school but not enforced. The schools require uniforms and books be paid by the parents. Many parents can't even afford the lunch much less the clothes. So only the more well off kids go to school. Many kids are made to stay home and take care of the younger ones. The thing about this school is because of crime it had a very high wall around it with razor wire or glass on top. While we were playing games there was a young boy probably 10 or so standing on his roof outside the school watching us play. I could see the longing in his stance. I took a picture of him. It hurt my heart. One other thing we did a skit about the servants and the talents and the kids had to guess what our talents were. I sang Jesus loves me for them. It was amazing. I have been singing in public since I was 3 and never have I had this happen to me. Every child got perfectly quiet and even the kids in the classrooms that were not supposed to join us came to their windows. When I finished singing they roared with applause. It was a special special moment for me.
That afternoon we went to Barrio 5 the barrio by the sea. They made us a wonderful meal there. (Side note... I think I mixed up my days for morning activities. Day 2 morning was school Day 3 morning was special needs. ) I ask to visit homes this day because we had not yet seen the inside of a house and the other teams had. So the wife of the Barrio director took us around to several houses. Some were horribly poor and others were nicer. But it hit home with everyone how fortunate we all are in America. This barrio was full of kids and our men’s construction team had been there that week already putting in new playground equipment. So the kids came from everywhere when we called. (Via loud music) These kids had planned to put on a talent show for us. That is one thing I really loved about these people they love to dance for you. We gringos were the judges and then we got to dance with them. It was fun.
Day 4
We were scheduled for another school this day but because of the swine flu they closed the schools for the rest of the week. So we spent our whole day in Barrio 6 which is the one Parkway sponsors. Trent went with us this day too. We had a relay race with teams and did a youth thing inside the community center with the young people only. It was fun.
This day however we went to visit many homes in this barrio. One of the men of the church (Santiago) who had married the mother of his children last year. Wanted to show us his home. It was in the poorest of the poor part of this Barrio. He had done a great job with what he had and what he had wasn't much. The walls were plywood and woven palm and the roof was palm. The floors were sand like in all the homes. There was no kitchen just a large tin can in the back that his wife cooked their meals on. But he was beaming with pride. From what Trent said he had come a long way. We also visited a ladies home that held Bible studies there. She has breast cancer and had saved enough money for surgery to have her breast removed and some chemo. She was bald but she opened up her home to us with warmth and a glowing smile. We prayed with her to be healed. Me being the only person with a Charismatic background laid hands on her as we prayed. I really felt the Lords presence there and I felt prompted to tell her that I too had had cancer and the Lord healed me and he could her too. She needs to believe and claim it. She grabbed me hand hugged me so hard we both started crying. It moved me greatly and she thanked me for encouraging her to carry on and have Faith. I shall remember that forever.
Day 5
This was our final day with the team. We went to another special needs school that was in the city and much better funded than the first. We did crafts and made Indian fry bread with them. They sang and danced for us. These kids had varying things wrong with them. We gave out 14 angels to these kids. Each of us took two children to pray for, for a year.
Our last Barrio was one that did not have a community center. We got to this one early so we climbed the mountain/sand hill to look around. The poverty was astounding. I took pictures from the top and it just seemed to go on and on. We could see several barrios from this vantage point. Then we went down and set up make shift table in the sand and made homemade kites and butterflies. There seemed to be more kids here than any other barrio and when it was over I was exhausted from making butterflies with them and having kids hang on me for hours.
Our days were spent teaching, playing and helping and our nights were filled with talking and sharing everyone’s experiences. It seems we all had different ones but it affected each of us profoundly. We made good friends with other people from other churches and with the New Hope people who have dedicated their lives to Peru.
Now I know how to answer my Father when he asks me if I want to take over his Mission ministry when he is gone. The answer is YES!
Thanks for listening,
Sherry
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Peru
I'm probably going to have to do this in a couple of sessions so please bear with me.
Peru is a wonderful country with happy loving people. It wasn't really what I expected. When we were briefed on this trip the way people were talking I was expecting to not have anything (or very much) to eat and the place being so filthy that I wouldn't want to bring my clothes home. What the reality was was far from that picture.
We stayed in the city of Trujillo with a population of approx 800,000. It's a big city but it's not like our cities in the sense that it's definitely a third world country. But I felt safe walking down the streets despite the surrounding paranoia about the crime.
There seem to be 500 little taxi's to every 2 cars. It's a very noisy city too but one where you seem to walk everywhere or you take a taxi. Good luck crossing the street because traffic signals are merely a suggestion.
Within the city there are poor and rich neighborhoods just like any where else. The difference is that the poor neighborhoods are like nothing in the states. Here the poor can get welfare or food stamps. They can shop at the Goodwill on half price day. There is no help from the government for these people.
On the outer limits of Trujillo are what us gringo's call the barrios. They are like pieces of a pie and they stretch from the city to the mountains or the ocean. The mountain people come down to look for work and settle in these places. The one thing the government does do is if you squat on a piece of land in the barrio they give you that land. Only a certain size though I'm not sure of the dimensions. They then can build what ever structure they can to live in. They start out with like a woven grass wall hut or one made from card board all with sand floors. Trujillo is one big sand pile. If these people find work they save there money so they can pay $150 sol($50 US) for a load of clay to make bricks with. They mix this with sand. Every where you go you can see these bricks being dried in the sun. I watched a young woman turn bricks for a couple of hours one day to make sure they all dried. (I would have helped but we were busy with the kids) Even when they can finally use bricks there roofs are grass and their floors are dirt. They can have electricity also. What I saw was a cord hanging through a roof with a bare bulb in several homes and there isn't running water anywhere. They either buy water from the store or a truck comes and fills up a community cistern where they all get their water from. They all seem to have outhouses.
In barrio 4 we didn't have access to a community center because they didn't have one yet so we had to use a church members house. Sweet lady (Barrio directors wife) to let us use her banios. It was a little three sided house with a toilet with no seat and a curtain for a door. Not private at all and unfortunately one of the ladies with us was very sick that day. We went everywhere in twos so I sat in this lovely woman's house while Christine was not having fun. What I saw in this house was some furniture lifted on bricks so it wouldn't sink into the sand floor. She had a bare bulb light hanging from the ceiling and a TV. She was watching Mexican novella's. She had hung a faded picture of a beautiful garden on the wall. She had made the best of her little house that she could. Behind me she was washing the families cloths in a bucket and hanging them out back to dry. Out back was the banios the clothesline and a clay cooking stove and two separate rooms for sleeping. They slept on foam mats. That was all they had. But in this Barrio she was the rich one in the neighborhood. We take so much for granted. But that was our last day.... Let me back up a bit.
Monday we started our day going to the hospital burn unit in the city. The hospital had a sign that said it was built in the 1500's. There was not A/C or heat in this hospital so every window was open. The equipment looked like it was new in the 1950's. The three people in the burn unit were in very bad shape. There was a two year old that was burned on half her body and an 11 year old that was burned on her lower body. The 20 year old woman was severely burned on her face. From what I could tell you could be taken here and treated at minimum with very little money but if you needed surgery or major help you had to wait till you had the money. There was a young girl there that had fallen down a hill and severely injured herself. She was laying on her stomach at an odd angle and had been in that position for three months. She now had a severe infection in her hip and didn't have the money to have it treated. There was a little boy that was born with Hydrocephalus. (water on the brain) His parents had saved the money to have his head drained once but it was needed again and he was blind now from the pressure and his little head was swollen twice the size. He need surgery again or he will die but his family couldn't afford it. The hospital was very sad and hard to visit. We prayed with as many as we could and danced and sang and made them smile. We passed out coloring books and food and tried to give the parents hope.
That afternoon we went to our first Barrio to visit and help in the one room kindergarten. We played with the kids and told them about Jesus and did crafts. Yep we got to talk about Jesus in a school house. It was amazing. We then went to the Community center and called for the kids by playing Christian kid music as loud as it would go. It's the call to gather there. And they came... We did a skit for them about the Good Samaritan we sang and danced and played games and gave as much love as we could give. It was magical and we were exhausted.
Day two started in the city again going to a make shift special needs school. We were the only group to do things in the city each day. This school was started by parents with autistic kids that weren't getting help. They did the best they could but it was all volunteer. I had never been around severely autistic kids before and it was an eye opener for me. Kayle (my daughter) really lit up. She really has a gift for kids. She was great with them. We helped them with their daily activities in learning and played games that helped them learn and develop. Then from there it was to Barrio 2. This Barrio is built on a land fill. It reminded me of the pictures of India you see where the poor live on the land fill. This was sports day. We were there to teach the kids some sports and play. We taught them Baseball and basketball. They schooled us in Soccor and volleyball. These people love volleyball. Kayle played soccor I helped the little kids make paper Elephant puppets.
I will be posting more later my hands are tired.
Blessings,
Sherry
Peru is a wonderful country with happy loving people. It wasn't really what I expected. When we were briefed on this trip the way people were talking I was expecting to not have anything (or very much) to eat and the place being so filthy that I wouldn't want to bring my clothes home. What the reality was was far from that picture.
We stayed in the city of Trujillo with a population of approx 800,000. It's a big city but it's not like our cities in the sense that it's definitely a third world country. But I felt safe walking down the streets despite the surrounding paranoia about the crime.
There seem to be 500 little taxi's to every 2 cars. It's a very noisy city too but one where you seem to walk everywhere or you take a taxi. Good luck crossing the street because traffic signals are merely a suggestion.
Within the city there are poor and rich neighborhoods just like any where else. The difference is that the poor neighborhoods are like nothing in the states. Here the poor can get welfare or food stamps. They can shop at the Goodwill on half price day. There is no help from the government for these people.
On the outer limits of Trujillo are what us gringo's call the barrios. They are like pieces of a pie and they stretch from the city to the mountains or the ocean. The mountain people come down to look for work and settle in these places. The one thing the government does do is if you squat on a piece of land in the barrio they give you that land. Only a certain size though I'm not sure of the dimensions. They then can build what ever structure they can to live in. They start out with like a woven grass wall hut or one made from card board all with sand floors. Trujillo is one big sand pile. If these people find work they save there money so they can pay $150 sol($50 US) for a load of clay to make bricks with. They mix this with sand. Every where you go you can see these bricks being dried in the sun. I watched a young woman turn bricks for a couple of hours one day to make sure they all dried. (I would have helped but we were busy with the kids) Even when they can finally use bricks there roofs are grass and their floors are dirt. They can have electricity also. What I saw was a cord hanging through a roof with a bare bulb in several homes and there isn't running water anywhere. They either buy water from the store or a truck comes and fills up a community cistern where they all get their water from. They all seem to have outhouses.
In barrio 4 we didn't have access to a community center because they didn't have one yet so we had to use a church members house. Sweet lady (Barrio directors wife) to let us use her banios. It was a little three sided house with a toilet with no seat and a curtain for a door. Not private at all and unfortunately one of the ladies with us was very sick that day. We went everywhere in twos so I sat in this lovely woman's house while Christine was not having fun. What I saw in this house was some furniture lifted on bricks so it wouldn't sink into the sand floor. She had a bare bulb light hanging from the ceiling and a TV. She was watching Mexican novella's. She had hung a faded picture of a beautiful garden on the wall. She had made the best of her little house that she could. Behind me she was washing the families cloths in a bucket and hanging them out back to dry. Out back was the banios the clothesline and a clay cooking stove and two separate rooms for sleeping. They slept on foam mats. That was all they had. But in this Barrio she was the rich one in the neighborhood. We take so much for granted. But that was our last day.... Let me back up a bit.
Monday we started our day going to the hospital burn unit in the city. The hospital had a sign that said it was built in the 1500's. There was not A/C or heat in this hospital so every window was open. The equipment looked like it was new in the 1950's. The three people in the burn unit were in very bad shape. There was a two year old that was burned on half her body and an 11 year old that was burned on her lower body. The 20 year old woman was severely burned on her face. From what I could tell you could be taken here and treated at minimum with very little money but if you needed surgery or major help you had to wait till you had the money. There was a young girl there that had fallen down a hill and severely injured herself. She was laying on her stomach at an odd angle and had been in that position for three months. She now had a severe infection in her hip and didn't have the money to have it treated. There was a little boy that was born with Hydrocephalus. (water on the brain) His parents had saved the money to have his head drained once but it was needed again and he was blind now from the pressure and his little head was swollen twice the size. He need surgery again or he will die but his family couldn't afford it. The hospital was very sad and hard to visit. We prayed with as many as we could and danced and sang and made them smile. We passed out coloring books and food and tried to give the parents hope.
That afternoon we went to our first Barrio to visit and help in the one room kindergarten. We played with the kids and told them about Jesus and did crafts. Yep we got to talk about Jesus in a school house. It was amazing. We then went to the Community center and called for the kids by playing Christian kid music as loud as it would go. It's the call to gather there. And they came... We did a skit for them about the Good Samaritan we sang and danced and played games and gave as much love as we could give. It was magical and we were exhausted.
Day two started in the city again going to a make shift special needs school. We were the only group to do things in the city each day. This school was started by parents with autistic kids that weren't getting help. They did the best they could but it was all volunteer. I had never been around severely autistic kids before and it was an eye opener for me. Kayle (my daughter) really lit up. She really has a gift for kids. She was great with them. We helped them with their daily activities in learning and played games that helped them learn and develop. Then from there it was to Barrio 2. This Barrio is built on a land fill. It reminded me of the pictures of India you see where the poor live on the land fill. This was sports day. We were there to teach the kids some sports and play. We taught them Baseball and basketball. They schooled us in Soccor and volleyball. These people love volleyball. Kayle played soccor I helped the little kids make paper Elephant puppets.
I will be posting more later my hands are tired.
Blessings,
Sherry
Monday, June 1, 2009
Making Friends
I find it hard to make new friends at Church. There I said it.
I spent so much time in my life seeing everyone try and appear perfect at church and turn around and live secret lives. Like a big elephant in the room. So many put on Christ like a sweater. A sweater they take off when the church eyes are not around.
I never realized I was like that until recently and I found I could/can make Christian friends at work or friends in general outside the church because there is not pretense there. They are more real because their guard is down. It's sad really. I'm working on the making friends at church thing. I think it's an ugly thing I didn't know I had. Something I need to repent of and try and give to God.
I can't begin to tell you all the things I have seen. Pastors fall....Lay people fall. People just caught up in the appearance instead of focusing on God.
Can we not reach the world with our humanity. Our faults. I think that is the only way we will reach humanity is if the Church stops being fake and starts being Genuine. Then they will see us for what we should be. A people fully devoted to following Christ despite our short comings. Over comers... Doers of the word not just Sayers of the word. FOCUS
I spent so much time in my life seeing everyone try and appear perfect at church and turn around and live secret lives. Like a big elephant in the room. So many put on Christ like a sweater. A sweater they take off when the church eyes are not around.
I never realized I was like that until recently and I found I could/can make Christian friends at work or friends in general outside the church because there is not pretense there. They are more real because their guard is down. It's sad really. I'm working on the making friends at church thing. I think it's an ugly thing I didn't know I had. Something I need to repent of and try and give to God.
I can't begin to tell you all the things I have seen. Pastors fall....Lay people fall. People just caught up in the appearance instead of focusing on God.
Can we not reach the world with our humanity. Our faults. I think that is the only way we will reach humanity is if the Church stops being fake and starts being Genuine. Then they will see us for what we should be. A people fully devoted to following Christ despite our short comings. Over comers... Doers of the word not just Sayers of the word. FOCUS
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
It all started when I was seven
I was born into a Christian home. My mother was raised Assembly of God by Christian parents in Arkansas and my father was raised Baptist by his mother in Florida. His father was there too but the jury is out on whether he was a Christian or not.
My parents met while my father was in the military and as they say the rest is history.
So I was raised in a Christian home. Christian but far from perfect. We lived in several places, Dad was in the Air Force and we were transferred what seemed like a lot as a kid. So the only constant in my life really was that where ever we went we found an Assembly of God church right away. Church life was rather hectic as far back as I can remember. We were always there. Sunday mornings early for Sunday school, then church service. A quick lunch maybe a nap or I would get to play before it was back to church for evening service. Then off to coffee with church friends. That was always my favorite part. Wednesdays was Missionettes and when I got older Friday nights were youth group. We were very very busy.
The Assemblies of God (AG) are what most would consider evangelical. "Holy rollers" Lord knows I have seen my share of rollin. In the south they seem to be more fundamentalist than they are here in the west. When we would go off to church camp the Girls would have to wear dresses all day every day. Even when we played soccer. But I thought it was normal, as a kid you kinda roll with it. Pardon the pun.
One summer the summer I turned seven I went off to church camp. It was a normal camp not much to remember except maybe that the speaker that came to that camp always dressed like an Indian Chief. That is what I remember the most... Him being in a large headdress and talking to us about Salvation and being with God.
On one particular evening he spoke on Loving God with all your heart. I don't remember much of the sermon all that I remember is how I felt. I remember wanting to know and love God with all my heart. Because I felt like he would except me as I was and love me. So I made the trek down the isle to the alter along with tons of other kids. I don't know if they all felt like me or it was just the thing to do. We had seen our parents do it over and over at church. But that isn't what I wanted I was there because I felt this need to love. I can't really describe it any other way. So I went and I knelt down and I began to pray. Well unless you have an AG back ground you may not understand this. But I remember this feeling as if it were yesterday. I felt consumed by love and power. The last thing I do remember is feeling overwhelming love.
I was told by my dorm councilor that I was "slain" in the spirit that night and I lay there with a smile on my face for 2 hours after all the other kids had left. She said they couldn't wake me but that they could tell that I was fine so they just watched and waited. I came to my senses finally and was at such peace I can't describe it and I was exhausted. That was the day I came to know God in an intimate way. I've never looked back. That type of experiance has never happened since either if you were wondering. My experiences with God have all been vastly different from each other.
I have had some ruff times and seen and been through some wonderfully incredible moments. I will share them all eventually. This was just the first.
Sherry
My parents met while my father was in the military and as they say the rest is history.
So I was raised in a Christian home. Christian but far from perfect. We lived in several places, Dad was in the Air Force and we were transferred what seemed like a lot as a kid. So the only constant in my life really was that where ever we went we found an Assembly of God church right away. Church life was rather hectic as far back as I can remember. We were always there. Sunday mornings early for Sunday school, then church service. A quick lunch maybe a nap or I would get to play before it was back to church for evening service. Then off to coffee with church friends. That was always my favorite part. Wednesdays was Missionettes and when I got older Friday nights were youth group. We were very very busy.
The Assemblies of God (AG) are what most would consider evangelical. "Holy rollers" Lord knows I have seen my share of rollin. In the south they seem to be more fundamentalist than they are here in the west. When we would go off to church camp the Girls would have to wear dresses all day every day. Even when we played soccer. But I thought it was normal, as a kid you kinda roll with it. Pardon the pun.
One summer the summer I turned seven I went off to church camp. It was a normal camp not much to remember except maybe that the speaker that came to that camp always dressed like an Indian Chief. That is what I remember the most... Him being in a large headdress and talking to us about Salvation and being with God.
On one particular evening he spoke on Loving God with all your heart. I don't remember much of the sermon all that I remember is how I felt. I remember wanting to know and love God with all my heart. Because I felt like he would except me as I was and love me. So I made the trek down the isle to the alter along with tons of other kids. I don't know if they all felt like me or it was just the thing to do. We had seen our parents do it over and over at church. But that isn't what I wanted I was there because I felt this need to love. I can't really describe it any other way. So I went and I knelt down and I began to pray. Well unless you have an AG back ground you may not understand this. But I remember this feeling as if it were yesterday. I felt consumed by love and power. The last thing I do remember is feeling overwhelming love.
I was told by my dorm councilor that I was "slain" in the spirit that night and I lay there with a smile on my face for 2 hours after all the other kids had left. She said they couldn't wake me but that they could tell that I was fine so they just watched and waited. I came to my senses finally and was at such peace I can't describe it and I was exhausted. That was the day I came to know God in an intimate way. I've never looked back. That type of experiance has never happened since either if you were wondering. My experiences with God have all been vastly different from each other.
I have had some ruff times and seen and been through some wonderfully incredible moments. I will share them all eventually. This was just the first.
Sherry
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I must be crazy.
OK so last week was a fairly good week. I had no drama on the weekend. I got my husband to start going to small group and Thursday I was given free tickets to see Third Day in concert. Sounds great huh?
It was great while it lasted. My life has been on overload for a while now so I was due a down week. Then low and behold it couldn't even wait till Friday. Thursday after the concert I run into a brick wall.
Not a literal brick wall a figurative brick wall in the form of family. I feel like I'm in a battle for my family and I'm the only one that's fighting. Which I know is not true but the battling is taking different forms for each of us.
Needless to say I got about two hours sleep Thursday night or should I say Friday morning and life continued undaunted by my drama. It always seems to despite what happens around me time just marches on. So now it's back to picking myself up and dusting myself off and taking another stab at doing things right. Reacting the right way to my challenges and not falling apart.
The wonderful thing was that at 5 AM when I was distraught and exhausted I cried out to God and ask my church/Facebook/friends to Pray for me and they responded. That was wonderful. Even my atheist friend was "rooting" for me as he said. LOL
Oh well life is probably going to be more challenging for a while and I'm prepared. I hope. I'm putting on my armor and I'm ready for battle.
Sherry
It was great while it lasted. My life has been on overload for a while now so I was due a down week. Then low and behold it couldn't even wait till Friday. Thursday after the concert I run into a brick wall.
Not a literal brick wall a figurative brick wall in the form of family. I feel like I'm in a battle for my family and I'm the only one that's fighting. Which I know is not true but the battling is taking different forms for each of us.
Needless to say I got about two hours sleep Thursday night or should I say Friday morning and life continued undaunted by my drama. It always seems to despite what happens around me time just marches on. So now it's back to picking myself up and dusting myself off and taking another stab at doing things right. Reacting the right way to my challenges and not falling apart.
The wonderful thing was that at 5 AM when I was distraught and exhausted I cried out to God and ask my church/Facebook/friends to Pray for me and they responded. That was wonderful. Even my atheist friend was "rooting" for me as he said. LOL
Oh well life is probably going to be more challenging for a while and I'm prepared. I hope. I'm putting on my armor and I'm ready for battle.
Sherry
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Distracted
I can't seem to focus these last few weeks. Life has come at me hard once again. I'm getting used to it and the Lord has used all my hard moments to teach me some very valuable truths.
I need to stay focused with my eyes firmly on him. If I don't, I fail miserably. Things get worse. I don't think I can handle worse right now. LOL
Recently I have experienced some disappointment with some friends. Friends I've always been there for, can't seem to be there for me. Again it's all about Focus. I learned long ago not to look at the people around you. Your parents, friends, husband and kids all let you down. They can't help it they are human and therefore sinful. But God has never.... and I mean never. Let me down. Am I always happy with what is happening in my life? NO. Not at all, but the Lord has taught me that Romans 8:28 is true and real and alive in my life.
I hope it is yours.
Sherry
Romans 8:28
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I need to stay focused with my eyes firmly on him. If I don't, I fail miserably. Things get worse. I don't think I can handle worse right now. LOL
Recently I have experienced some disappointment with some friends. Friends I've always been there for, can't seem to be there for me. Again it's all about Focus. I learned long ago not to look at the people around you. Your parents, friends, husband and kids all let you down. They can't help it they are human and therefore sinful. But God has never.... and I mean never. Let me down. Am I always happy with what is happening in my life? NO. Not at all, but the Lord has taught me that Romans 8:28 is true and real and alive in my life.
I hope it is yours.
Sherry
Romans 8:28
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Monday, April 27, 2009
April 27th first thoughts
Now that I can actually write something I'm stumped as to where to begin. I have felt for some time now that the Lord wants me to write a book. I just have not taken the time to sit down in this busy life and start. I thought maybe this would be a good place. At least this way I will have something on paper to start with.
I would like to use this blog not just to share my thoughts to those that will listen but to encourage those that might stumble on to this. Who's lives may be full of chaos and they are discouraged.
Many people have lived harder lives than I of that I'm sure. But I have definitely had my share of heartache and roller coaster living to give some hope. They can survive if they can just Focus.
Some of the things I share will be hard to write down. But I am determined to share the truth. To shine a light of some very harsh reality.
In some small way I hope it helps you. I pray it paves a way to heal you.
That heart this is my Daily Focus.
I would like to use this blog not just to share my thoughts to those that will listen but to encourage those that might stumble on to this. Who's lives may be full of chaos and they are discouraged.
Many people have lived harder lives than I of that I'm sure. But I have definitely had my share of heartache and roller coaster living to give some hope. They can survive if they can just Focus.
Some of the things I share will be hard to write down. But I am determined to share the truth. To shine a light of some very harsh reality.
In some small way I hope it helps you. I pray it paves a way to heal you.
That heart this is my Daily Focus.
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